Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
