Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize