Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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