I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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