I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
