I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm going to jail i love you
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You're like the curious george of whores
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
