she kept yelling 'call me bella'
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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