we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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