Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
