i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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