Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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