You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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