I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
