Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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