i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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