did you get engaged???
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
