I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize