He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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