theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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