I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
