:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
