Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Randomize
