Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
The air taste purple.
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