She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
