So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
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how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
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I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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