It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
