Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
