Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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