i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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