two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
