I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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