so explain again why im purple
no
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They took my balls.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize