hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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