i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
