five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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