...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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