I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
