You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
