I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
