Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
that may or may not have been my penis.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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