I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just pee around me
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
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