I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
