you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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