I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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