I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
