dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
