just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize