listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
We don't watch enough power rangers
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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