This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
