How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
there was a trapeze. enough said
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize