and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just saw a hot homeless man
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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