if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
