Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
