I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
