let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Even my vagina gasped.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
