Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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