Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
