Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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