Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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