Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
